Being unable to fully bridge a gap you’ve been trying to cross since you realized in PreK that other little girls are not nice to you, and little boys are 50/50 about playing with you, it makes you feel like a failure. When your mentally immature and unstable parents tell you you!re a waste of time and money, and they wish you!d been given away at birth, it makes you not like yourself.
Now, I see that I was not noticed as autistic as a child. And that being autistic makes me not fit in. Most of the world cannot think in the same way I do, they may not even see the same things I do, or feel the same things as I do.
People like me fine if I fawn, bend over backwards, rarely assert much at all. The minute I need to set a boundary, look out for myself, that’s it. I am alone.
Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun...
A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying.
One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever..
We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc
If u want pics of her text me.
I spent 47 years being told I was weird, worthless, left out, ghosted, ignored, failing to fully fit in in spite of exerting a lot of energy to do so, having work stolen, being gaslit, and essentially wondering why the hell everything felt like I was exercising in 10 times Earth’s gravity and everyone around me seemed fine, energetic, and things that bothered me did not bother them.
4+ decades of trying to search for what is wrong with me, why do I lose friends, why am I a ‘third wheel’ friend, a spare tire, easily forgotten when someone newer, netter comes along. Did you not like me? Did I make you mad? What happened? Why did me getting sick mean you can’t remember me online? Why is face to face or being in public so important? How did you infer that weird idea from what I literally, carefully, said? I treat you nice if you even speak to me, and excuse a lot of meanness towards me. But I am the one forgotten, alone, left out. Not the people who smile to someone’s face, then gossip behind their backs.
